Freaking Out

It seems like I feel like a complete mess about 75% of the time recently.

I can't get over this vague feeling of panic deep in the pit of my stomach. I'm not exactly sure what it is I'm so afraid of. Change is scary, sure, but should it really elicit this many mid-afternoon naps, searches for the perfect-fix-all song, hours of journaling and poetry-writing, and missed meals?

I'm not used to feeling so out of control in the spring/summer time. It's a different out of control, to be sure, but it's still really hard to rein in.

In one week and a handful of hours, I'll be done with college. I have a job that will pay my bills, so I don't have that to worry about. But a lot of changes are going to take place. Many of the people I see on a daily basis are taking their beautiful lives elsewhere. I need to figure out a way to do the same before fall, but I don't have anywhere specific to go, or anyone to go there for. My routine is going to drastically change. No more safety nets. It's me, myself, and I, from here on out.

I'm getting pretty freaked out about it.