I have come to an unfortunate conclusion.

I am a whiner.

Although I knew to some extent that complaining people generally suck, I had no idea just how far I had fallen until today, when the depth of my dissatisfaction truly struck me.

I have a class called Media and Meaning, in which we discuss the media, the people who run it, its contents and biases, etc. The teacher, Mike Mennard, is an absolute gem. You couldn't ask for better--he's funny, happy, entertaining, flexible, well-rounded, not especially difficult, and along with all of those, he's very intelligent and says a lot of interesting stuff in class. Media and Meaning is a pretty general class, and thus, to me anyway, is pretty easy. Here comes the complaining, are you ready?

On every assignment in the class, I have recieved a hundred percent. (That's the complaint. Honest.) We have media reports due periodically which are essentially a two page essay discussing some form of the media. They are very opinion-based and should be interesting to do. However, so far, I have put very little effort into mine. In fact, there has been a bit of b.s. involved (which is not the same as plaigarism, I won't sink to that level), where I pretty much just ramble on about the medium being discussed with little intelligent thought on the subject whatsoever. These papers are the product of my own academic laziness and unfortunate lack of self-motivation to push myself to achieve a much higher standard than that I am currently turning in for class. They really aren't even a shadow of what I'm sure I'm capable of. And yet on my latest report, Mike wrote, "This is a superb report! Bravo!" His comments make me feel all warm and fuzzy... and guilty...

Sick and twisted.

It sucks to know that I can do better and that I'm complaining about a class that doesn't force me to do so. I shouldn't need a teacher to motivate me to do my best. I should find that within myself.

Yuck. Looks like I'd better get started on my next Media Report, and do this one right.