Rough Draft
The three friends sat around the kitchen table, waiting less than patiently.
“When did they say the pizza would be here again?” Carlene moaned.
“They said it’d be 30-40 minutes,” Amber replied, without looking up from the laptop perched the table’s edge.
“How long ago was that?” Joanna’s whine was muffled, her head buried in her arms, which were crossed on the table in front of her.
Amber glanced at the clock on the stove. “Almost an hour.”
Carlene moaned again, more desperately this time. “I’m starving. How long does it take to make one pizza?”
Amber finally looked up from the computer screen. “Okay. I’m writing a short story for my creative writing class. It’s called “Friends with Pomegranates.” Can I read you guys what I have so far?”
“Sure,” said Joanna, raising her head from her arms as Carlene nodded.
“Okay, here we go:
The three friends sat around the kitchen table, waiting less than patiently. They had been friends for as long as they could remember. Their friendship had been tested more than once over the years, but never like this.
“What are we going to do?” Carly asked nervously.
“I don’t know. I’m freaking out a little,” Jamie replied, her voice shaking noticeably.
Audrey was the sensible one. “And you’re sure that he’s the same guy you saw on the news?” Her voice was calm.
Jamie nodded. “I got a good look at him when I took out the trash. He was parked in a car across the street, watching the house. He had on a black hat. It was the same guy. The guy who kidnapped all those women.”
“And he’s still there?” Audrey asked.
Carly left the table and peeked through the blinds. “Yeah. Wait! The car is there…but it’s empty now.
Just then, the doorbell rang. All three girls jumped up.
“I’ll get it!” yelled Amber.
“It’s about time,” Carlene exclaimed.
Joanna was already headed for the door. “Who’s got the money?”
Each grabbed her purse, ruffled through its contents, opened her wallet, and looked at the others guiltily.
“I’ve got a dollar.”
“I think I forgot my cash at home. He won’t take a credit card, will he?”
“I’ve got seven bucks. Did anyone answer the door?”
The doorbell rang again and Carlene ran to answer it. She threw it open, expecting to see the delivery man.
The man on the doorstep wore a black hat and jacket. He wasn’t holding a pizza.
Labels:
Writing
10 comments:
Ooooooh, good start. Can hardly wait to read the rest. And I bet, despite what he says, that guy in the living room is waiting for the surprise ending as well. Draw it out. Let me read it first. :0)
it's gonna be a brilliant best-seller. maybe i'll make it into a novel. and then spielberg will make it into a movie.
and i won't even let that guy in the living room read it first. ;)
and he'll be sad when he's sitting in the movie theater all by himself knowing that you and kristina are at the european premiere hanging out with steve-o and christopher walken, who will star as the creepy guy who "wasn't holding a pizza". because i think christopher walken is creepy.
but even though i think it could use some tweaking, the last line is fantastic. gives me the shivers.
ooohhhhhh, Creative.
Christopher Walken as the creepy kidnapper, that could work :)
You have me interested to say the least!!!!! I can't wait to read the rest of it!!!
freaky. I hate horror movies/stories
i want to know what happens next!!!!
so what next??? waiting.. "less than patiently"
you, my dear friend, are an amazing, talented, and beautiful woman...and i miss you like crazy. i´m glad you got to get out of lincoln for a little while and into the sunshine of texas for awhile. being away from home makes you appreciate it all the more. amen? i can´t wait to see you guys again...i have so many other funny things/sayings/noises that i´ve stolen from all these crazy, funny people around me. i wish to be in the red kitchen with you as well.
anyways, i´m glad to see you are writing and good stuff at that. i´m so tired of reading crap. i´ve read 5 or 6 books down here and 3 of them have been aweful!!! i hope you are doing grand. love you lots! give emily a big hug for me.
I don't know about Christopher Walken. I was picturing someone much younger. But I do love Christopher Walken.
Post a Comment