A Good Fall

I'm sitting in front of my sun light right now.

I'm learning to listen to my body, and my prone-to-unbalance mind, and I refused to set dates this year. I decided to do something about my mental health when I felt the need. It was coincidental that I dusted off the light box for the first time this year on October first.

I'm doing really well, better than I've been in October in a long time. I have moments of feeling the changing seasons, but nothing like this from last year about this time. I have not yet experienced any true depression this fall. It's a little harder to get out of bed. I've had a few near-scares of almost missing the bus to go downtown. Some days I feel sad without having a reason. But nothing serious, knock on wood, just yet. (I really just knocked on my desk.)

I am trying to condition my thoughts and find things to look forward to about winter. Instead of panicking when I see crunchy leaves on the sidewalk, I tell myself, "Winter means hot tea by a fire!" and "Before you know it you'll be able to sing Christmas carols and buy Christmas gifts!" But immediately following these thoughts, I laugh because my natural inclination is then to tell myself, "Just think, winter means SPRING is coming!"

I'm not moving anywhere after all, just in case you hadn't figured it out. I am doing so well here right now that I decided not to risk spoiling everything with a big upheaval. I'll continue to be prepared if things get bad and I need to go somewhere, but why ruin a good thing while you have it?