Wearing the Pants

Pet peeve of the day:

Men who won't wear the pants.
I know several guys who claim to want to be a part of a real, committed relationship. One of their biggest problems is that they just aren't stepping up and being a man. Being a grownup and being a man instead of a boy shouldn't be the by-product of only finding your one true love. It should be what he is, not what he will be when the right woman comes along.

So here are the rules of acting like a grownup, being a real man, and otherwise wearing the pants:

• If you truly want to wind up with a quality girl, you'd better start treating all of them with respect, or no real woman will look at you twice. Girls really do pay attention to how you treat your mother, sister, and close female friends. If you're a jerk to them when no one's looking, we know that you'll be a jerk to us one day, too. Treating people with love and respect will get you more than just a date--probably every girl in the room will be after you.
  
• Tough exterior be darned, girls really do want to be sought after. If you like her, and she's not flat-out telling you to get away from her, ask her out. Don't be creepy, and don't be a stalker, but so long as you're not girl-surfing every other day, a girl will respect you more for your bravery, even if she says no. She'll be flattered, at the least. And if you do get turned down, any quality girl is probably feeling worse about saying no than you are about the rejection. If it's well-known that you tend to fall hard for a girl but never do anything about it, well, that's just not very attractive.
• Communicate. This is where the pants-wearing comes in. You don't have to get mushy or emotional--we don't want you to come off as a girl any more than you do. But whether the feelings are on your end or hers, you can initiate conversation to make sure both parties understand how things are.
• If you say you're going to do something (call, have a conversation, go on a date) do it. If you don't want to do it, then don't say you will. This is an issue of honesty and integrity, as well as politeness. See the prior thought about wearing the pants.
• Suck it up. Be the man. Yeah, she's capable of asking you out. Yeah, she's capable of bringing up her feelings first, and yeah, we know, you're feeling just as vulnerable as she is. But gender roles be darned, unless you want to be on her arm instead of having her on yours, you'd better pay her way on the first couple of dates. Unless she's got some misguided Super-Feminist tendancy, she'll most likely let you. It's chivalrous, and no, chivalry is not dead. This encompasses way more than just forking over cash, but hopefully you get the point.
  
• Did I mention that there's nothing more attractive than a guy who treats every girl this way, not just the ones he wants to date?
• By college, a girl will assume that you're capable of having a relationship. So stop dwelling on (and talking about) your former girlfriends and all those who have otherwise adored you. If you're worthy of our adoration, we'll know before you tell us about all the other girls who thought so.
• If you're not happy on your own, you're never going to be able to be successful in a fulfilling, grown-up relationship. Learn to exist happily on your own. The theory of each person in a relationship being a half that adds up to a whole is incorrect. You need to be whole by yourself. If you're not, you'll be too busy worrying about your own well-being in the relationship to love her unselfishly. Selfishness kills it.

I'm sure there's more. The moral of the story is that if you are male, you need to learn how to wear the pants. I have a rant for the women too, but we'll have to save that for another day.

[In reflection, this comes off as blunt to say the least. Overall, guys, you're awesome. But those of you having a hard time gettin' the girl, try these suggestions out, and you might have a better time.]
[This is dedicated to a friend who knows who they are. I hope this gets the point across. :)]