To The Lurkers

I’m a fairly faithful blogger. I will admit to occasionally missing a few days here and there. I’ll even own up to the travesty of lazy bloggers everywhere: I do sometimes post a comic as a post all its own. But overall, I’ve been pretty good about this blogging thing. While I haven’t delved into the realm of audio or video posts, I do try my best to entertain with pictures and careful writing.

And I actually have quite a few readers, perhaps more than I expected. My sitemeter tells me about a friend in Poland, and a friend-of-many-friends in Korea, who both log on somewhat regularly. I was puzzled over an Adventist Health Systems Florida reader, who I’ve recently discovered is actually someone I know after all. My friends in Maryland (you know who you are) delight me by sometimes logging on several times a day. I’ve deciphered screen resolutions and internet browsers in order to craftily decide which of “the boys” has logged on from their single service provider in Lincoln (there are five boys living in their house, and at least four computers that I know of, so I felt that this was an accomplishment). Moral of the story: commenting or not, friends, I know you’re out there.

So, dear reader, let me let you in on a personal secret of mine. I think that regular, purposeful lurking is a blogging faux pas. Surely some thought enters your mind as you read my ramblings. Even if it is “How can someone possibly find this subject intriguing enough to write a post about?” I would like to hear your musings. Of course, I understand that every post may not strike your interest, or your eloquent thoughts. But surely, you lurkers, could you not find a moment to share with me every couple of posts or so?

After all, I know you’re out there. It’s not like it’s a secret.

I can think of only one thing that prevents me from commenting on others’ blogs. And that is that they would not care to read what I have to say—or don’t especially want to hear from me regardless of my thoughts. I assure you, this is most certainly not the case with me. Regardless of who you are, I most likely do have an interest in what you are thinking. In fact, since the whole point of this blogging business was to better keep in touch with everybody (“everybody” being everyone I’ve ever met or heard of through friends), comments are essential to my blog’s attaining its best level of functionality.

So, in an effort to draw out the lurkers, simultaneously destroying them, and further, to make this blog a significantly more interactive thing, I dedicate this post to my lurking friends. I love you all. I want to hear your voice.

My plan of action is to ask one or more questions of each one of you. How can you possibly resist answering me when I’ve such a genuine interest in your lives and thoughts? If you can indeed resist such attention, well, then you’re either stronger than most, or else just silly.

Dolly P. in Poland: Are you still loving the country of your heritage? Do you plan to ever return to America again? What are you doing of late? I would know these things if I lurked on your blog as you do on mine. I’ll try to do better.
Angela B. in Korea: Do you know who I am? What exactly is it that you’re doing in Korea again? Teaching English? I am friends with your friends, and they love you a lot, so you must be really awesome. Will you be in Lincoln when you get back?
Kim F.: You’re better at the commenting thing than most, and for that I thank you. But I do want to know: how was Florida? What did Andrew get you for Christmas?
Renee B. in Argentina and Erin H. in France: How is school in other countries? Renee, do you actually have a blog I can read? Should I have come with you Erin—is France that good? How much of the languages do you both know so far?
Angela S.: You read even though I hardly know you! That is so nice! But I have a personal question for you. Emily and I can’t seem to get a straight answer from married people: is getting married really “worth it”? And also, do you like Kentucky? Are you and Michael ever going to come visit us all in Lincoln again?
Greg O.: Are you ever going to blog again? How was Christmas? Did you get anything unexpected? When do you go back to school? We should plan another party for the first week back. The last one was pretty good, wasn’t it?
Carissa H.: I assume that you’re the Grand Forks hit. When are you and Tim getting married? What plans have you made so far? What I’ve read on your blog seems a little vague sometimes. When? Where? Colors? Attendants? Details! :)
Nikki F: How are you, dear girl? How is your Christmas going? Did I tell you that I’ve decided to go back to camp this summer? Did I tell you I’ll be having a different job? When do you have to go back to school?
My Berrien Springs Dairy friends: Someone in Berrien reads. I’m hoping they’re a dairy person, ‘cause I’d like to know some stuff. How’s work? Is Heather still working full time? How’re she, Mike, and the kids? Whatever happened to Barbie—is she still around? Does Mimi still feed the cats? Is 3165 back from IA yet? Is she bred? Oh I miss it all so much…
Andrea C.: You’re a good commenter. Thanks! How’s break going? You get back Monday the 9th right? What cool things did you get for Christmas?
Emily Y.: Do you miss me yet? Did you get my e-mail? How was your afternoon with your mom? Have you and she and your brother gone to see Pride and Prejudice yet? I started looking for plane tickets. :) Have you looked at your calendar? Did you figure out who to shoot for your project? Have you started blogging the pictures of Megan yet? What cute things did she do last night?
Ben Y.: Why don’t they teach grammar classes in college? Are you ever going to e-mail me back? Who did you beat at X-box last night? How the heck did you get those stripes on your blog again? Will you please help me with mine?? Do you need me to work on Monday the 9th? How many seasons of Friends have you gotten though already?

To the readers in Northbrook, IL; Horsham, PA; Mount Laurel, NJ; Winchester, CA; Daytona Beach, FL; Kalamazoo, MI; College Place, WA; and the State Communications Department in Lincoln: Who are you? Thanks for coming by!

Everybody Else: How was your Christmas? Where do you live? Do I know you? How do I know you? What did I do to become so blessed with your readership?

And now, for those who answer: THANKS! This does not get you off the hook--you must keep commenting, okay?

For those who don't: why do you disappoint me so?

PS: Yes, I do lurk from time to time. Mostly on people's blogs whom I do not know (did I use "whom" right, Englishy friends?). If you notice I'm there and think I ought to be saying something, let me know, I'll start. :)