The Angst.
I'm a moody girl.
Lately I've been swinging wildly between feeling like spring must be on the way, because life holds so much beauty, and I can actually notice it; and feeling angsty for deep, spiritual and mental reasons I can't quite put my finger on.
I have so many questions, and so few answers.
I'm tired of knowledge being force-fed to me. I'm tired of it being packaged in a neat and tidy little bundle, because in reality, I'm finding that no truth is neat or clean. Nothing is simple (although communicating grand ideas in a simple way is a truly great art).
I don't ever want to carry bitterness around, but I'm feeling a little bitter today toward my many years of education. Why do we so insult the truths we believe that we refuse to present them in an equal manner? Why haven't I been presented with all sides of the argument--on whichever topic you choose: God, the world's origins, feminism, racism, what-have-you.
Today I told Mr. Robison, one of my favorite professors, that I miss being in his class because I miss the way it stretched my mind and caused me to think. He reminded me that I'm graduating soon, and will probably have to learn how to find these opportunities for myself one day.
I'd rather be talking with someone about life and the things that matter and all of my many questions, but I went to the library instead. I don't think Union's library has what I'm looking for, though. I want to read why evolution is true, in order to come away believing that creationism actually is. I want to understand why people believe there is no God, to strengthen my own belief that there is. I want to read crazy-liberal feminist writings in order to balance out the ideals of the male-dominated world I live in. I want to hear everyone's ideas, and not only accept as valid those that are different than my own--I want to accept those ideas that I think are utterly wrong, like when people think it's okay to torture people in Guantanamo Bay. I know Adventists' beliefs about the end of time; what are some other beliefs? How do people who don't have "the Sunday Law" cemented in their vocabulary view the end of the world? I don't want to shy away from ideas that oppose my own, or questions that have scary answers, or things I don't understand.
I'm taking Origins and Jesus and the Gospels this semester. I was hoping for an at least moderately-balanced view on the earth's origins--on the different theories out there--but no such luck. We have a reading list of a good 20 books to choose from to do a book report on, and they're all loudly crying out the stupidity of evolution.
Why is it that in my religion class the teacher makes fun of atheists' intelligence (and women's butts or weight, but that's another story), and everyone laughs? Why is it that in my science class, the teacher makes fun of Darwin, literally reading out of his books and laughing at him, and everyone thinks it's funny? Why can't we listen to one another? Why do we have to make fun?
I don't listen well, for sure, but I'd really like to learn to. So I surround myself with people who are thinkers and seekers, and I try to learn from them. I'm reading about Darwinism and feminism and Buddhism and the Iraq occupation. I'm listening to lectures about socialism and about peacemaking. I have an atheist friend who's going to tell me his story one day soon. I'm watching online videos about theistic evolution and the nature of happiness. If this is some kind of existential crisis, I'm going to inform it to death.
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5 comments:
:)
It's called "Senioritis."
:)
As for reading material - that's my area of expertise!!! Here's a list.
Books of interest re: Evolution/Intelligent Design - "Darwin on Trial" by Philip E. Johnson. A lawyer analyzes the argument of Evolution.
"Darwin's Black Box" by Michael Behe. A biochemist refutes the idea of micro evolution due to the irreducible complexity of life.
"The Blind Watchmaker" by Richard Dawkins. Probably one of the most well known Evolutionists and definitely his most foundational book. It will give you a good sense of the kind of religiosity and faith that goes into believing in Evolution. Of course, that's not his intent, but that's what you'll come away with. Read Johnson's book first so you know what holes to look for in Dawkins' arguments.
As for the atheist stuff from a Christian perspective, I highly recommend either "The Real Face of Atheism" or "Can Man Live Without God" by Ravi Zacharias. I'm not sure I know of any books refuting atheism that aren't outright anti-Christian, antitheistic (ie: Richard Dawkins). There's a lot of hate out there. Leslie might know of something and I'll let you know if I find out.
For feminism stuff, start with the classics, like "A Room of One's Own" by Virginia Woolf and "The Feminine Mystique" by Betty Freidan and Anna Quindlen. I'm not all that versed in feminist writings, honestly, but those are good starts. They aren't "crazy liberal" though. The "crazy liberal" stuff is just annoying, if you ask me. A book to balance some that out would be "The War Against Boys" by Christina Hoff Sommers.
I would love for you to talk to my dad some time about Intelligent Design/Evolution. It's his area of specialty and he can explain the arguments on both sides SO well (without getting all hyped up or insulting). He'll be here in March for spring break, if you're around. If not, I could always set up an email introduction when you have questions about what you've read. :)
We need to go to lunch, Katie! I miss thinking about all this stuff too! What Mr. Robison said is true - you don't have nearly the opportunity to think about stuff like this once you're out of school.
Well I can help with the feminist stuff. It has a negative connotation because the EXTREME women had to go to, to get men's attention and say "HEY we should be treated equally". Somehow tho, that makes women "crazy" , well the civil rights movement wasn't pretty and they didn't get labeled crazy...hhhmmm. Feminism=women are people!
OK here are some excellent links to get you started.
The National Organization for Women
www.now.org
Feminist Majority
http://feminist.org/
The Feminist Press
http://www.feministpress.org/
Another thought is find a school that offers a women's study course/certificate/degree go into their class listings and find out what books are being used and then track them down at the public library. Just beware they are not all created equally. I took a Feminism in Social Work class at SU for my degree and it SUCKED. The teacher was not really into it, we watched lame-o videos and I got a 100 on my test, NO ONE should get 100 in grad school. I could have taught the class better than her!
Oh another place to check out would be the Women's Rights Hall of Fame and the Women's Rights National Museum/Park (They are both in Seneca Falls). They are very historically accurate and focus on how it all started.
As for Darwin, my suggestion is always go back to the source. I'd start with Origin of the Species.
When I took Origins, I chose my articles pretty deliberately and dissected them from both a literary and logical standpoint. It was fun, and helped me think more about what I was reading and what I believed about evolution, creationism and how they should be taught.
Also, when you get to the part of class where Dr. Webb comes in and teaches, you'll probably like that better. If I remember correctly, he presents several viewpoints. But I remember being frustrated with that class for the same reasons.
As usual i'm dumbfounded by your authenticity and writing abilities in the sense of being able to express pretty clearly how you feel. In a nut-shell i'm going through a lot of the same stuff right now. having a lot of the same questions. I've actually been in and out of a state of 'depressed-ness' (not depression itself but a level of it) and i don't know exactly why.
We are, in bible class, learning about sda beliefs and why and how 'they' have come to these conclusions. but that is only skimming the topic... Really, i appreciate you and the entries you purposely decide to post for us to read. missing you too too much!!! Do come see me!
Yay! Go for it. Fill your life-book with experiences and knowledge that challenge your thinking--while looking at things from your base standard, or plumbline. It's good for the things that you believe to be true (like God's words) to be your measure. I agree, there is a lot of hatred/satanic influences on our planet. Hey-I was teaching from the SDA Science curriculum this week (which I felt was balanced) and came across a joke about evolution. I told it, felt guilty, and ended up somewhat apologizing. Sharing what I believe with the students is great; making fun of other beliefs is not. Exposing the lie and building a strong foundation for truth is good; putting down people who support/believe the lie is unacceptable. I pray you'll continue to grow (II Peter 3:18) :) Love Emily "I miss college classes" Graham
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