Open Letter
Dear Chiggers/Spiders/Whatever Keeps Biting Me:
I hate you.
Just thought I'd get that out in the open right off the bat. For a girl who lives in a city and doesn't spend all that much time outside, I am covered in your handiwork. In my opinion, twelve big, weeping, itching-like crazy, red welts is plenty of evidence for me that you're alive and well in Lincoln, Nebraska.
I used to think you were spiders living in my bed, but lately I'm more inclined toward the chigger theory. This is because I wash my sheets incessantly, I have never seen or felt you crawling on me, and your bites are concentrated on my torso and in warm, bendy places like the backs of my knees. Google says this means chiggers. Really, though, I don't care what you are. Please. Stop. Biting. Me. NOW.
You are making my summer significantly more miserable, as Burt's Bees Anti-Itch Bug Bite Stick has nothin' on your itchy and ouchy trail of destruction. I have enough reasons to move away from Lincoln without your help. Leave me alone.
Thanks for your consideration in this matter.
Sincerely,
Katie Carlson
2 comments:
Tanya said to paint them with clear (or otherwise, I suppose) nail polish and that will keep the itching at bay. I only have red nail polish, but I'm desperate enough to try it!
I googled chigger bites, and read that that's a myth--that people do that to suffocate the chiggers, but by the time the bump shows up, the little buggers are already gone. :( But Burt's Bees sure doesn't help at ALL, so I may be desperate enough to try nail polish. I only have red too. That'll look great. :)
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