Thankful

I've been praying before I eat for as long as I've been praying at all. That's the first one you learn, isn't it? "Dear Jesus, thank you for this food, Amen." That was the standard in my family. My sister could say "In Jesus Name we go to the table, God bless the food we recieve," in Swedish faster than you can blink.

But I've never been as thankful for food as I was today. Walking back from FoodNet is one of my favorite feelings in the world. My bags are always heavy; they make my hands hurt, and sometimes my back too, and I have to shift them from hand to hand a couple of times in my 15 minute walk. And I always feel thankful. Today I was especially thankful; I haven't been able to afford to buy groceries in quite a while, and things were getting a little scarce the last couple of days. I wouldn't have made it without the yogurt Laura gave me, and Emily and Ben's mom treating me to dinner last night. I just felt so good, walking back. I had orange juice, and bread to bring to our sandwhich potluck tonight (good, whole wheat, Grain Bin bread), and Thai-style tofu, and potatoes, and lettuce, and organic cookies, and eight snack-sized containers of soy pudding.

Then I decided that I was going grocery shopping too. I went to the store with Em and Debi (her mom). My dad had given me $50, which technically I felt I should keep in the bank to pay for my children next month. But it's been so long since I've had real groceries, and I have a real kitchen now, so I decided to fill one basket (not a cart) with necessities of the cheapest sort, and buy them, and let Jesus take care of my bank account. I got sugar, flour, vanilla, baking powder and soda, oatmeal, some frozen soybeans in their pods as a treat (they are so yummy boiled--thanks Angela and Ashley), a few dried apples and raisins, bulgur wheat, a can of corn, a roll of paper towels, and... 40 cents worth of dark chocolate-covered espresso beans. Oh, and some cheapo instant coffee because I want to try to make coffee-chocolate-chip muffins.

I got up to the checkout and was feeling a little nervous about how much it would cost me. Debi and Emily were with me, and they had mountains of groceries. They ushered me to go in front of them, which I was glad for, because my basket was heavy. And then Debi turned to me and took my basket and said "I'm paying for your groceries, because I remember what it's like to be where you are, and I don't want you to have to worry, and I want to ease your burden. Now your kitchen will be stocked. Is there anything else you need?"

And I hugged her and choked back tears, and once again I am so thankful for having full bags of groceries.

I've thanked God for my food nearly every day for as long as I can remember. But today was the first time that I can ever remember being this heart-felt about it--knowing that He actually provided food for me, intentionally meeting my very specific needs. And it's yummy food, and healthy food, and there is tofu and soy and organic-ness, and it all came home in my reusable canvas bags.

And there was coffee too. What's not to be thankful for?