I Like the Word 'Savvy'

You haven't heard much from me lately on this here blog, have you?

Sorry 'bout that. Part of the reason is because my life these days is mostly taken up, in time, brain-energy, and creativity, by work. And, you see, my bosses each are young and savvy (I love how that word makes me feel all piratey!), and could easily find my blog if they so chose. So I've been feeling a bit squirmey inside about blogging things like "it was a long day at work..." and "today I felt less productive than I have in a long time..." knowing that they can find me.

In the name of transparency, I'm pretty much done with that. I've always been pretty honest on my blog. I say words that my parents don't like me to say, knowing that they read it. And post pictures of my new haircut, knowing that there are those who aren't fans, and will let me know about it later. So when I have a bad day at work, I'm going to say so, even if Jacque or Nicole stumble upon this one day. They probably have bad days sometimes too. And if not, well... at least they can appreciate my honesty.

It's been bothering me today that this morning at work I pulled the "I'm poor" card to my boss, Jacque. I hate doing that. I leave work right at noon on Fridays in order to get to FoodNet. There was a project that I was working on that was long past-deadline, and I was really trying to get it out today. It was 11:30, and it wasn't looking good. I don't work for her again until Tuesday, and we really needed to have it done--it shouldn't have been this late as it was.

Jacque is one of the most hard-working, driven business-women I know. She works late--late--every night. (Okay, late as compared with most people I know.) I often don't leave until nearly 6 p.m., and she never seems to be winding down by that time. I like to be out of there a bit after 5, but I try to stay later. Anyway, she works hard. And I try to keep up, but just don't--I only worked 35 hours this week, and it felt like a long week, and one where I really tried to get a lot of hours.

So I knew it wasn't looking good to get the project out by noon, and I needed to know if she'd rather me stop half-way through, or wait to do it until Tuesday, or try to come in extra sometime, or what. And I didn't know if she remembered why I needed to rush out the door. Ordinarily I would have been happy to stay. But I've been really struggling with money lately (which is wierd, 'cause I have more than I've had in a long time, but I'm so afraid it's going to run out), and haven't spent much on groceries, relying entirely on FoodNet. Things have been sparse. I've eaten some vegetables that probably weren't entirely fit for human consuption. I really needed FoodNet today.

So I tried to explain. "Well, it's just I actually have to leave right at noon, because I have to get to FoodNet, and I'm out of groceries, and I won't have any otherwise..." It sounded feeble and excuse-like to my ears. And I don't like pulling the "poor [literally] me" card. Especially with people whose story I don't know--I don't know if she's ever been poor. And I don't know if it sounds like a legitimate reason to be leaving work when no one else is.

One year from now, if all goes even remotely as planned, I'll have graduated and have a job. The things I am most looking forward about that are:
a) getting paid actual money
b) having health insurance (woo hoo!)
c) living in a house without a colony of spiders and bed mites
d) living in a house with a shower
e) living in a house with real a/c

The end.