What I Love About Guys

I've recently discovered yet another difference between guys and girls. And this one, I absolutely adore.

This past year was the Christmas of Marriage for me. My mom gave me three books for Christmas. One was about Narnia, and thus safe. One was called "Marriable: Taking the Desperate out of Dating." (I think maybe you have to be dating for that to apply, but whatever.) The other was "Sex 180." (No comment on what you must be doing for that subject to be applicable. Whatever it is, I'm not.) When we went shopping over break, my mom kept saying things like, "Now if you were getting married, I'd buy these cute little candles for your reception," or "Wouldn't this [insert knick-knack here] look beautiful in a wedding? Why can't you be getting married?"

As tempting as it was to run away screaming, I actually thumbed through the "Marriable" book. (It had good writing, okay?) The only thing that stuck was something that we all know but that I'd never thought about consciously before. Girls base the depth of a relationship on words. The sheer volume of words exchanged, multiplied by the intimacy of subject matter, equals the depth of relationship. Talking is bonding. Guys base the depth of a relationship on time. A guy will routinely spend hours playing X-box with his friends, exchanging only a handful of words (supplemented by various sound effects, groans, and victory dances, to be sure). This time spent is bonding. Neither approach is better; they are just different.

The enlightening thing about this is that I've recently discovered that when I'm with a guy, I don't have to talk if I don't feel like it. If you're with your girl friends and you don't say much for a long time, they assume that either something is terribly amiss or you're mad at them. (Any guy will attest to this. It's just one of those silly girl things.) This can be incredibly stressful, as when I don't feel like talking, I feel pressured to still be at least somewhat a part of conversation. And one-on-one, the avoidance of awkward silence is enough to make me crazy. (For this reason I've in the past avoided long car trips alone with people I don't know well. It was stressful to me.)

But I've finally realized that when it comes to conversing, guys aren't girls. Case in point: Yesterday, my friend Ben drove me to the airport. We work together every day. We usually talk plenty, but yesterday, it seems neither of us had much to say. Words were exchanged regularly, but by no means was the entire drive taken up with conversation. Instead, we listened to music and sang along and enjoyed the first day of driving-with-the-windows-down weather, often in comfortable silence. It could be said that we bonded, and yet no words of any particular depth were exchanged. It was a beautiful thing. I was rather sad when it ended.

God made humans sexually dimorphic. (Dr. Fitts would call that a fifty cent word.) Often, the differences between men and women are so confusing that we see them in a negative light. But a world full of only women (or men) would get so old. I'm thankful that God made such a diverse place to put us, in spite of the confusion it may cause sometimes.

And thanks, Ben, for a nice, awkward-silence-free drive to Omaha, and for the lesson that came with it. (That's why I asked if you still read my blog. I was already contemplating this post.) By the way, when you use parenthesis for a whole sentence, as I've done countless times today, does the period go inside or outside of the closing parenthesis? When all else fails, be consistent, I suppose. (But seriously, what's right?)