The Asparagus Tree

In my backyard there grow two asparagus trees.

Betcha didn't know that asparagus grows on trees, didya?

Well, it doesn't. But when you grow asparagus in your garden, and you don't frequent said garden, to chop it down and eat it, and it grows wildly out of control... it grows into an asparagus tree.

Bigger is not always better. Little four-inch asparagus shoots are deliciously yummy. There is nothing delicious or yummy about a four-foot asparagus tree. Asparagus trees are miserable creatures. Each time you visit the asparagus patch in search of a tender lunch-time vegetablular treat, the asparagus trees will mock you.

"Ha!" they taunt. "You let your guard down! I avoided the snip snip of your scissors, and now I grow wildly out of control! I am no good to you now, and shall never be eaten!"

In spite of the evil asparagus trees I love my asparagus patch. Two times now I have enjoyed a few small spears from our meager garden. Although it boasts more sickly stalks and towering trees than edible asparagus shoots, I love asparagus so much that it is worth the grief. I am a bit worried, however, that the asparagus trees are plotting to take over the world.

Somehow, they have influenced my mind. You see, I simply cannot bring myself to chop them down!