On Writing

I am a writer.

There. I've said it. That felt even better than I thought it would.

I used to think of myself as a writer. In high school, I wrote quite a lot. I'd write for the yearbook, the newspaper, our family Christmas letter, even for fun. Teachers told me I was a good writer, and it was what my parents seemed most proud of me for. I was confident in my writing ability, and in that part of my identity.

Then I went to college.

During my freshman year at Andrews, I was still a competent writer. My skills and perspective grew in my honors comp class, and I took a survey English course from this incredibly passionate writer-professor who made me think I might like to be just like her.

Then I took a year off. I was busy, and in the middle of nowhere, and didn't have much reason to write. I experienced my first real bout of seasonal depression which, for me, prompts complete apathy toward practically everything I usually love. It was somewhere in that year that my inner writer and my inner cowgirl got together and took a vacation.

And since then I've not really considered myself to be a writer. When I came to Union, I discovered a thriving community of writers among both students and teachers. I didn't feel any particular motivation to do the work it would require to place myself among them.

But in the past couple of days, I've felt the urge to write. I'm a little rusty. I want to write blogs and letters and even poetry, which is a huge stretch considering I don't even like poetry. The urge hasn't quite made it to my fingers most times (except in the case of my beautiful new blog).

And a few things have happened lately that have awakened the writer in me. I finished an article for Editing class that I worked hard on and am very proud of. I haven't written something that I liked in quite some time, but I like this one, and it'll be published in Insight in April or so.

On Sunday night in the car, a writer whose work I admire (like whoa) was telling me about an author. She's written a book on writing and he suddenly exclaimed, "You're a writer, you'd really like it." Those words, "You're a writer," have stuck with me ever since.

Dr. Brown, my Christian Counseling professor, positively gushed over a book report I wrote. Before handing them back to the class, he announced that he never gives 100% on assignments, and that he's only given out a perfect score once before. Then he handed out our papers. I got 50 out of 50, and a note, "Katie--your writing is flawless; I'm impressed! Also, you write so well--your style, command of English, the clarity with which you express yourself. Oh, and did I mention that the content is exactly what I was looking for? Great job." Then he approached me in the bookstore yesterday to tell me that I couldn't wait to read my next paper because I was a fantastic writer. That book report was by far not my best work. The fact that this man has a Ph.D. and would say such things over my half-hearted attempt at a paper disturbs and boggles me. I tend toward not believing him (I would much rather pride myself on something I've put effort and myself into). But it reminded me that being a writer doesn't mean that I have to be the next Great American Novelist.

I just have to be me, and let the words come out of me, and keep learning the best way to do that.

This new discovery has manifested itself in a concrete way already. First, I give you this post. Secondly, I am going to drop my youth ministry minor. That will free up my schedule to allow me to minor in Blake. Mr. Blake is Union's very own writing god. His classes make me feel alive. I actually and intensely learn in them, both about writing and about my own worldview.

I'm not writing this post in order to usher in flattery and compliments in all of your comments. This is an inside sort of journey in which people telling me that I'm a good writer is not quite as important as my simply knowing that I am one--that being a writer is a part of my identity.

Telling all of you is a way of owning that part of me.

So hi. I'm Katie, and I'm a writer.